And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
