have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
