if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
