I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
home. puking in laundry basket.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
