I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Randomize
