how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
