OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
