Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
