I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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