And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
