Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My dad is sitting where you rode me
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
