I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize