In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
