Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
