Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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