Fuck appropriateness.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
