I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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