just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
