how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
