can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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