Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
