My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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