well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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