He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
