Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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