i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
try to milk me bitch
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize