I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
