is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
