Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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