Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize