Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize