I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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