just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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