So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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