Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
