Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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