I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
