used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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