he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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