brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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