I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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