i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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