Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
