Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
