Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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