I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
