How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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