He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize