So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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