I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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