OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Too much gin, very little bucket
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
