That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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