I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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