I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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