Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
