Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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